Funny Patients

Getting to do different specialties is great experience and so far it has helped me eliminate a lot of things I don't want to do, such as gynaecology, psychiatry, opthalmology, dermatology, radiology and urology. So I just finished an Ear, Nose, Throat attachment yesterday and I've decided I definitely don't want to do that either. That's not to say I don't find aspects of each specialty fascinating because there are interesting things in all of them, but to choose it for a career, I mean I can't imagine looking at pus filled waxy ears, sore throats and snotty noses every day all day long, I need a little variety.

Anyway, there was a great patient who came into the Casualty Clinic the other day. He was probably in his 50s, and he came in because of wax-buildup in his ears. He was incredibly entertaining. Like a toilet overflowing, nonsense just spewed from his mouth. It started off when the doctor asked him to sit on the examination table, he looked at the paper pulled over the table and said, "That must be for an elephant!" To which no one responded and he sat down. While the doctor was preparing things to look and clean out his ears, he started to wax nostalgic. "When I was 18 I worked in a theatre and they told me to go work in the out-patients department. So I went there all I did was take off two bandages. So you never know." Awkward silence.

So he'd come in basically to get the doctor to clean out his ears, so when the doctor put a speculum in his ears to look inside he grabbed the bars at the side of the bed and wouldn't let go, the doctor brought the overhead scope down to look in his ears and he said, "I'm building one of those in my spare time. That's the problem with having a big head, you know too much." To which the doctor completely ignored again but we medical students stifled snickers. Then the doc started the suction machine to try and clear out his ears, and you'd swear she was trying to pull out his appendix through his ears! The knuckles on his hands were white from grabbing the bars and he was moaning and writhing around. The nurse came in and asked him if he was in agony and he said he was ok, but continued to writhe and moan, so the doctor tried the other ear. She only got to the point where she puts the plastic cone in his ear to look inside when he grabs the bars again and starts moaning. So she stopped and told him to go home, put in a couple drops of olive oil every day into his ears to soften up the wax and come back in a week. He objected to that, said he didn't want to because it's harmful. The doctor insisted it wasn't harmful and he replied firmly, "No, no, I don't want to put olive oil in my ear it forms an air bubble and can damage your ear by osmosis!" By this time we were nearly dying from laughter yet trying to maintain decorum, medical students are not supposed to laugh at the patients!

Anyway, I did learn a lot from this attachment but I definitely don't see it as a career for me. And hopefully I'll gain some relief from my perennial allergic rhinitis, I've discovered sinus washes and I'm testing them out, I'll let you know how it goes!